Horseshoes & Hand Grenades: EPOV of ADC
by Mrs.Robward
Summary: Companion fic to Almost Doesn't Count, not sure if it will be able to stand alone or not. It's all Edward, all the time. Series of outtakes of sorts, Edward's past, his thoughts, his convos, etc. AH ExB
1. Chapter 1, Edward & The Past

**"My grandfather used to say that _almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades_. Then my Grammy would answer, "_yes, Poppa, everybody knows, almost doesn't count._" It's true. Think about it. When is it almost good enough?" ~Bella, Almost Doesn't Count**

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**This is a companion fic to Almost Doesn't Count, not sure if it will be able to stand alone or not. It's all Edward, all the time. YUMMY! This will be a series of outtakes of sorts, letting us in to the wonderful world of Edward. His past, his thoughts, his conversations we didn't get to listen in on w/BPOV, etc. All will be revealed. It may be sad at times because of Esme. Hold me. ~ Mrs. R.**

Not really beta'd. So ignore mistakes.

* * *

**~Edward 2 weeks before meeting with his lawyer~**

_Dear God, _

_I didn't know if I would ever find a need to write in these prayer journals again, this gift from my family the first year I left for college, but if there was ever a time I needed a release – a saving grace - for what I have pent up in my soul – it is now. _

_I just left my mother's side, she is such a fragile wounded soul and now I am broken. She asked me to stay the night again, but I needed some time alone to process this all. I have been fighting back the tears ever since I saw her the other day. Words could not have prepared for me for what I would see when I arrived home from Russia. Part of me wants to ring Emmett's neck for not telling me sooner. This... just....hurts._

_Here I sit, watching Ethan sleep, wondering what if in thirty years I am in my mother's shoes. What if I am on the verge of discovering the afterlife, how would I handle it? How would I feel knowing I was to leave my most prized possessions behind and miss, what I had assumed, would be given to me - more life. _

_I had always believed it would be old age that would claim my parents breath, not the ugliness of cancer. My mother was an angel and angels shouldn't suffer so. _

_I may be wrong to think that this is alright, that after years and years of silence from me, that I now pray for these things, for miracles. To ask you for blessings I am not deserved of, for you to grant me the wishes of my heart, but I have nowhere else to go, I have no one else to ask. The one person whom I thought would always be there for me, is losing her battle and I am scared. I am frightened of what is to come in the following months. I fear I am not strong enough to handle this – alone. This struggle to gain Ethan as my own and the strength to let go of my mother gracefully, may just wear me down to the point of nothingness._

_Give me strength. Please.. _

_Sincerely~ E.C._

~*x*~

Was this really happening to me? The emotional up and down constant in my life was so messed up, I wasn't sure if I was coming or going.

Bella Swan just left my house. The Bella Swan. _My Bella Swan_.

Of course she knew nothing of my crush on her from high school. I was still in such a daze. I needed to go dig out my old yearbooks and make sure it was really her. Shit, I know it was. She talked of being divorced from that cocksucker Newton. Now she was going to be my adoption lawyer. Man, fate sure does have a strange sense of humor. I was positive Jasper knew nothing of my infatuation with her in school, but my mother, that sneaky thing! She was the only one who knew about my feelings then and now, I was sure she was waiting for my call. "_Call me as soon as your meeting with your lawyer is over_," echoed in my head.

"Hello mother. How are you feeling?"

"Edward honey, I am feeling fine, just a little tired. So.."

"So?"

"Did you meet your lawyer? Is it...."

"Yes, I met my lawyer and yes, it is her. How did you know?"

"Edward," she sighed, "when Jasper started telling me about her, I just knew is was _your_ Swan. He raved about how professional she was, how she was your age, from Forks, single...."

"Mom, come on. She barely remembered me and we're to be involved on a professional level. It's been a long time. Let's not jump to conclusions..."

"Yes, Edward, I understand but will you please bring her to meet me soon. I remember how beautiful she was and …. I just want to meet her, talk with her. Okay?" I heard the tears in my mother's voice and I agreed. Not knowing how I would ever convince Bella to go back to Forks with me and meet my mother, I wasn't ready to reveal my past to her just yet.

~*x*~

That night after my meeting with Bella, I tried to go to sleep but it seemed impossible. I just remembered too much.

It was the summer, weeks before the beginning of my eight grade year when I saw my Swan for the first time. _Really saw her_. My parents were big time supporters of the local performing arts. My mother had carried on and on about the latest production of Grease by all the area kids. She wasn't going to let me and my father NOT go. She staged us a family night on the opening evening of the play and off we went to Fork's Little Theater. I laughed as I thought about how much I was dreading going to FLT that night. I was positive all my friends would make fun of me if they knew where I was headed. My mother was seriously crampin' my style.

We sat fairly close to the front and I slumped down in my seat to hide from being seen, my baseball cap pulled down over my face as much as possible. Then the lights dimmed and the production began. It was kinda cheezy, but not too horrible to endure. I had almost fallen asleep in my seat when my mother nudged me to look. She pointed up to the girl on stage and asked if I knew her, she swore we were in the same grade. But I shook my head, there was no way I went to school with _that_ girl – I would have noticed her before. I sat up a little straighter as I watched her own that stage. She was beautiful and so confident and... yeah, I'm sure I had never seen her before tonight. Her nose was pink from too much sun and her hair was brown, wavy, and shoulder length. But it was her eyes. The were big and full and mysterious and ...captivating. She didn't have a main part in the play, but every time she was on stage, I could only watch her.

I grabbed the play's program out of my mother's hand and skimmed the list of character's for her name. I trailed my finger on the paper from her character's name over to her real name...Isabella Swan. Isabella. Swan.

For the next two weeks, my mom and I attended every performance of Grease. During one of Bella's performances, my mother leaned over and whispered, "Isn't she lovely?" All I could do was nod and right then my mother knew. She knew why I insisted on going with her instead of staying at home.

I knew little of my Swan then, but I couldn't wait for school to start to find out all about her. I had no classes with her, but her locker was right outside my fifth period English. I tried to be inconspicuous as I hung out in the hall trying to just catch of glimpse of her. In the next few months all that I learned about Isabella Swan was that she prefers to be called Bella. She was quiet and hung out in the library as opposed to the gym like me. I never saw her at any of our games or pep rallys. She was in the drama club and chorus and I always found a reason to attend their performances. She was Fork's Chief of Police's daughter and seemed to have very few friends. She wasn't popular, like me, wasn't close friends with anyone in my crowd, and she kept to herself. Still such a mystery, a gorgeous mystery.

As we moved on from eighth grade to high school, I kept an eye on Bella. I was too scared to ever talk to her. Once as a Freshman there was an assembly and some how she was setting directly in front of me on the bleachers. My knees touching her back, I leaned forward, spread my legs and rested my hands clasped together on my knees. My fingers were able to covertly touch and graze her hair. Once I got pushed from behind and it caused my knees to jab her in the back really hard. I reached down and touched her shoulders and apologized. She looked back at me and smiled. Her voice so soft, if I hadn't already committed it to memory, I would not have known what she said. "It's okay," she whispered. She blushed and quickly turned back around. I stuck my straw back in my mouth and tried to hide my grin. All that week I was living on cloud nine because my Swan had spoken to me.

Every quarter my mother and I would practically stalk FLT. Most of the time we went to every production they put on more than once. Over the years I learned many of the lines to Cats the musical, Sound of Music, Les Miserables, Macbeth, and many more but it was Romeo and Juliet that changed my outlook. We were Juniors and Bella was Juliet. I had stopped by the ticket booth outside FLT and read the cast list the night before after baseball practice, my Swan was Juliet! Romeo was some dude I had never heard of. This play would be epic, I would get to watch her all night long, she was the star. The Swan that starred and performed was different than the Bella I went to school with. Gone was her shyness and uncertainty when she was on that stage, she was perfect, the spotlight was all hers.

As she spoke the lines of Juliet in regards to her new love, I felt my heart pound and I was struck with the need to just talk to her. I wanted to know her favorite color, her favorite restaurant, her middle name, her fears, her dreams, her passions..._her_. I wanted to know her. That night I pulled my copy of Romeo and Juliet from my bookcase and began to read it again. I imagined it was Bella and I talking to each other. I could still hear the tone of her voice, "_Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou.._."

I would do it. Fuck clicks and who's popular or not. I wanted to get to know Bella. I had admired my Swan going on almost three years now from a distance. It was time to narrow that gap and fulfill my heart's desire. I was going to ask her out.

That next Monday morning it was two months into my Junior year and I had determination on my mind. I was going to talk to her. I knew her locker was on the opposite end of the hall from mine but I purposefully got to school early to find her.

There she stood, it was like out of a dream. The light was shining in from the square in the door that lead outside and you could see auburn streaks reflecting in her hair. There was almost a glow surrounding her. She was biting on her bottom lip as she stood by herself. Then I stopped in my tracks when I saw who approached her. Mike Newton. He wrapped his arms around my Swan and lifted her up as he kissed the top of her head. Her face blushed red again just as it did that day she spoke to me. I wanted to throw up. I stumbled back and let my back rest against the wall of lockers behind me. She was taken, I had waited too long. I wasn't one to break up relationships either, so that was it. She was off limits. I would ask around, see how serious this was, but I wouldn't speak a word of how I felt.

Over the next year and a half I watched as Mike kept his hands all over her at school. Only to have his hands down some random girl's pants at a party the next weekend. Bella never came with him, I suppose she was at rehearsals. I wanted to tell her what scum he was, but what was I to tell her? Nothing. I stopped going to the theater so much. It didn't seem right anymore. I had let my Swan free to fly. They say swan's usually mate for life with the possibility of divorce among them rare. I hoped my Swan was different. Maybe Mike wasn't her true mate and someday, sooner than later, she would see that. She deserved better.

~*x*~

The next morning I surprisingly woke up before Ethan. I covered my eyes with my arms as I thought about the day before. I needed to confirm with Jasper that we were still having lunch on Monday, we had some shit to discuss! There was no doubt about it, I was going to be spending a lot of time with Bella in the next few months. I would finally get my chance to get to know my Swan. Maybe this was God's way of redeeming himself. He was taking my mother, but granting me Ethan and Bella in her place. Damn I hated to think that way! I wanted it all, I shouldn't have to give up anything.

~*x*~

_**Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, **__**filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like. **__**~Lemony Snicket **_

_**

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**_Remember they have been out of high school for 7+ years, a lot has changed. He wasn't in love w/her, just a crush. This was just a little bit of E's history, he started talking to me last night & WOULD. NOT. QUIT. until I wrote this.

I have no update schedule for this (like I do for any of my fics ) . But I will continue this and you will know all about our Edward. I have had requests for Ed's convo w/Jasper & what he was thinking while B was sleeping. So any others? Anything that sticks out & you think, _Hmm, what was Edward thinking_? Let me know, I'll try. If you like it, you need tell me in the way of REVIEWS! There is lots we don't know about! ::wiggles eyebrows::

~Stacy


	2. Chapter 2, Jasper & Edward Talk

**My grandfather used to say that _almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades_. Then my Grammy would answer, "_yes, Poppa, everybody knows, almost doesn't count._" It's true. Think about it. When is it almost good enough?" ~Bella, Almost Doesn't Count**

**

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This is a companion fic to Almost Doesn't Count, not sure if it will be able to stand alone or not. It's all Edward, all the time. This will be a series of outtakes of sorts, letting us in to the wonderful world of Edward. His past, his thoughts, his conversations we didn't get to listen in on w/BPOV. It may be sad at times because of Esme. Hold me. ~ Mrs. R.**

* * *

Not beta'd yet, I might come back & fix it later!

((Pst, When Edward talks below it will be in _italics_ so you don't get confused.))

~*x*~

_Dear God, _

_I feel like a broken record. Each time I sit to write in this prayer journal my thoughts always go back to the same things. That makes me feel guilty, so today I am not going to speak of my personal wishes, but for prayers for others._

_To start off I pray for you to please be with Carlisle. He has always been a sturdy rock for our family. Never has he wavered, never has he been weak. Never, but even the strongest steel has a breaking point. The heat of the fire during these troubles of his life are wearing him down. I see it in the faintest wrinkles in his face. I see it in the stray gray hairs present on his head. I see how his smile doesn't always make his eyes twinkle. I notice how he sometimes stares off into the distance, lost in his worries, his concerns. He has not spoken a word to me or Emmett about my mother or her cancer. I know he is trying to be strong for us – for her, so I pray that when his fire reaches its peak, when it can't get any hotter, that he is able to bend, mold, and give into the flames instead of shattering and breaking from them. Hold him together. Let him fall to his knees to thank you for the wonderful years he has spent with his treasure in his arms. But please forgive him if he forgets. Forgive him if when his heart is breaking he blames you – chastises you, cries out to you in anger instead of gratitude. His eyes will be blinded with tears of sorrow and pain. He'll be lost without my mother by his side. Lift him up, be his light and guide him through the darkness. _

_Please continue to look over Ethan. He is such a blessing to me, I can't imagine my life without him. There are days I just want to sit and hold him. I have terrible thoughts when I think that something could possibly go wrong with this adoption. I can't promise that I won't do something I'm not proud of. I refuse to lose him. Thank you for keeping him healthy. Thank you for allowing him to show me a love that I never knew existed. Thank you most of all for allowing me to be in the presence of an angel and witnessing heaven on earth. Continue to be with him as he grows and develops. I know that he is an extension of your grace and I am eternally grateful. _

_I pray for Emmett, he needs all the help he can get. _

_I pray for Bella even though I don't know her very well. _

_I pray for Esme, healing and strength, among everything else I always ask for. _

_I pray for the people I left back in Russia and my fellow PIH friends._

_These things I bring and lay at your feet in the name of your father. Amen. ~E.C._

~*x*~

I drove around the parking lot looking for a place to park. Ethan and I were to meet Jasper in ten minutes at McDonald's. I used to swear I would never eat in a place that had an indoor playground. That was post-child, now it was one of my favorite places to go. Definitely not because of the food but because of the fact that Ethan could run and scream as loud as he wanted, and it was totally acceptable, expected even. He gets to play and I get to eat mediocre food and have adult conversations.

_So worth it._

Jaz was already standing in line, his hands shoved in his pockets, rocking on the balls of feet. Dressed in his fancy pants paired with his designer t-shirts. Alice clothed him well. I asked him to order me the grilled chicken combo and I found my way to the back to get us a table near the slide.

Ethan was wiggling to get down and it was all I could do to remove his shoes before he took off for the little play place.

_Thank you Ronald._

Not much longer Jasper joined me at our table and after the general greetings we began to eat.

"_So how have you been? Alice well?"_

"She's good. Busy as always. Same as me."

I nodded and chewed.

"How are you doing? Emmett's been keepin' me up to speed on your mother. Edward man, I sure do hate that about her."

"_Thanks Jaz. She seems to be holding it together better than expected. She's tough."_

"So what did you think of Ms. Swan? Meet your expectations?"

"_You talkin' about Bella?" _

"Wooo, first name basis already? You work fast Cullen."

"_You don't know do you?"_

"Um, obviously not. What is there to know?"

I smirked.

"Hell Edward! You didn't already get in her pants did you?"

_"No – Jasper, come on. You think that low of me?"_

"Not really but your bein' all shady & 'you don't know do you,' What am I supposed to think?" He was mocking me.

"_I thought maybe my mother told you."_

"Told me what Edward! Spit it out."

"_Well, I thought she told you that Bella and I went to school together."_

"And...."

"_And what?"_

"There has to be more than that Edward. Who gives a shit if you went to school with her? You went to school with a boat load of people."

"_And that I kinda had a thing for her back then. In high school. I never went out with her or anything."_

"Are you shittin' me?'

"_No Jasper, I am not shittin' you."_

"Are you over her?"

"_Wha--"_

"Tell me, are you over her?" His voice was rising.

"_Wha-- Yeah. Yes. I haven't seen her but once, no twice since graduation. It was a long damn time ago. Wait! What does that matter?"_

"Because if you are NOT over her, I don't want her representing you. Plain and simple."

"_Enlighten me. What are you talking about?"_

"There are a million reasons why and I assure you none of them concern your well being. Where should I start? Hmm, okay, my firm for example. I have yet to have a problem with my lawyers getting it on with their clients. We are professionals. I don't want to start that trend. I'm not saying it hasn't or won't happen but I sure in the hell am not going to encourage it!"

"_Sure, I get that. Bu---"_

"Whitlock and Associates prides itself on personal attention and that does not include you getting your rocks off. We have an outstanding winning reputation. Not saying that it would, but Edward when a lawyer gets too involved with their case, if there is a fall, the fall is steep and the landing is hard."

"_Okay--"_

"But more importantly, I am thinking of Bella. I don't know her that well but I know she's had it rough. She's quiet, reserved. She seems to have very few friends. She never joins us for after hour staff get togethers. She keeps to herself. I know her kind and her work, her career, it's all she's got. She's determined, thorough, and very professional. Bella is one of my best and because of that, I will not support you jeopardizing her career by some stupid desire you had to get in her pants in high school."

"_Jasper--"_

"I'm serious Edward. You need to promise me you can keep this platonic. So tell me, are you over her?"

"_Chill out!! Good gracious! I had a thing for her YEARS AGO Jasper. A lot has happened since then. I don't know really know her anymore. But I agree with you, she seems very good at what she does and I want her to represent me. I promise to keep it as much on a friendly level as I can but if she jumps on me---"_ I couldn't help but joke_._

"Edward Cullen. I am being serious right now. She is going to be around you and Ethan a lot. I mean, she is going to be all up in your business. Just so you know, I won't intervene again. If something happens between the two of you, I won't stop it, but think of **her** Edward. Keep it cool for **her**. Think with your head, not your dick."

"_You give me a helluva lot of credit. I mean, please stop. Jaz I am not some man whore! You know that right? I am also an adult who can make big boy decisions – for himself. My main concern is Ethan and getting this adoption over with as soon as possible. That's it. I can't promise you anything more than that but your going to have to trust me. Shit!" _

"I'm sorry Edward but I was just trying to set you straight."

"_Thank you for schooling me on the ways of the world, but I can manage. Esme is the one you need to worry about. She's convinced Bella and I are meant to be. So go set her straight."_ I raised my eyebrows.

"Asshole! You know I love your momma and if she wants you doing the hanky panky with Bella, so be it. I'm not going to tell her any different. She probably just wants you to get with somebody! She wants to see you happy and settled down."

"_Hell, I'm adopting. A. Kid. Does it get anymore settled down than that?"_

"No, I guess you got a point there. You know what I mean though."

I agree.

"I'm going to say something to Bella."

_"Don't you dare! I mean it Jasper. She doesn't need to know about all that back then. No! Not now." _He better not._  
_

"I am going to say something to her, but I won't spill your little secrets. I'll let you handle that as you see fit."

_"Please don't. Seriously."_

Jasper took another bite and smirked at me. He had better not say a damn thing!

I diverted our conversation away from Bella or more away from Bella and myself. I don't have plans to seduce her or break her heart or anything like that. But I won't mention to Jasper the way my stomach flip-flopped when she came around. Or the way I could still see myself getting lost in the wonder of eyes. Or the way her smile made me tingle all over. Or the way I can't wait to see her again. I won't mention those things. Those are **my** secrets to keep.

~*x*~

**_Do not keep secret the longings of your heart, for when they are revealed they will guide your way home._**

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Some of the requests I have had are what he was thinking while B was sleeping, their kiss, their dance, the fair, Forks, some EdwardxEthan history, if they thought of each other after HS, so any others? Anything that sticks out & you think, _Hmm, what was Edward thinking_? Let me know, I'll try. If you like it, you need tell me in the way of REVIEWS! There is lots we don't know about! ::wiggles eyebrows::

~Stacy


	3. Chapter 3, Just Friends

"**My grandfather used to say that **_**almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades**_**. Then my Grammy would answer, "**_**yes, Poppa, everybody knows, almost doesn't count.**_**" It's true. Think about it. When is almost** **good enough?" ~Bella, Almost Doesn't Count**

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**This is a companion fic to Almost Doesn't Count, not sure if it will be able to stand alone or not. It's all Edward, all the time. YUMMY! This will be a series of outtakes of sorts, letting us in to the wonderful world of Edward. His past, his thoughts, his conversations we didn't get to listen in on w/BPOV, etc. All will be revealed. It may be sad at times because of Esme. Hold me. ~ Mrs. R.**

* * *

~*X*~

_Dear God, _

_Thank you. _

_I can't quite put my finger on what it is about Bella that puts me at ease, but no doubt, there is something there. Her mere companionship is comforting to me and during this trial in my life, she's exactly what I need. I know that your plan for my life is better than my plan, and nothing in life is a coincidence, so my sincerest thanks. First you bless me with Ethan and now, Bella._

_"I'm drinking from my saucer because my cup has overflowed."_

_Always_

_~E.C._

~*X*~

Bella was selfless. I have never met anyone like her. Just like right now, I hear her in there playing with Ethan. I'm supposed to be taking a nap, and even though my eyelids are heavy, I can't sleep knowing she's in the next room. My blood is zinging through my veins and hearing her and Ethan's laughter, fills my soul with mirth beyond measure.

She'd given me a strange look earlier when I explained why I had Ethan call me "Bub". I was being honest when I said I didn't think I deserved to be called Dad or Daddy. Maybe it was that I was still too unsure, I mean Ethan wasn't mine yet exactly and then again, maybe it was that I didn't really _feel _like his father. I thought about it often and it felt as though I was just his caretaker. I'm hoping the title of 'Dad' comes with time and experience. I wanted to be a father, more importantly Ethan's father, more than anything.

When she told me we had a date for the temporary custody hearing, I just wanted to hug her. Wrap her up and squeeze the breath out of her. But I didn't want to overstep my bounds or scare her off thinking I was creepy or anything. So I held back. For now.

I put my journal away in the bottom drawer of my bedside table and laid back on the bed. I finally had a feeling that everything in my personal life was headed in the right direction, well everything except my mother's health, and I wasn't giving up on miracles yet.

I drifted off to sleep listening to Ethan's laughter and Bella's singing as she rattled dishes in the kitchen. _"Five little ducks that I once knew, red ones..."_

~*X*~

My cell phone buzzed at ten thirty nine. I sat straight up in the bed and looked around while my brain began to remember what had transpired before I dozed off.

_Bella._

Bella was watching Ethan. So what were they doing?

I quietly opened my bedroom door and looked up and down the hall.

Silence.

I tip-toed until I reached Ethan's room. I peeked through the door and what I saw, it was beautiful. Ethan and Bella were in his bed fast asleep. The book she had been reading was open in her lap and her face was turned toward Ethan's head.

Sometimes, when Ethan had trouble sleeping, I'd lie with him until he fell back into his deep slumber, then I'd just gaze at him in awe. My heart was filled with so much love and adoration that I thought there could possibly be nothing more poetic - nothing more angelic than just watching him sleep. But I was wrong; seeing Bella with her hair draped across the pillow, framing her shoulder and her face. Her cute little nose nestled in Ethan's hair and her palm resting on his chest. I just stood in the doorway of the room, speechless, because if ever I was permitted a glimpse into Heaven, it was now.

They both looked so peaceful, I decided against waking them just yet. Instead, I ventured into the kitchen to scrounge for something to eat and tackle whatever mess Bella had left for me.

Surprisingly, there was nothing for me to clean up but instead a small note written in Bella's messy script, pointing me to the leftover tuna salad in the refrigerator. Damn, she never ceased to amaze me.

After I finished my late dinner, I quickly called Emmett and asked if he could come and take Bella home. I hated even thinking about that sly, sneaky ass alone with her in a car, but she had to be safer with him than riding in the God-awful public transportation in this city. I'd just keep my fingers crossed that he kept things platonic. Maybe the seriousness of the adoption would keep him from being his typical self.

_He needed to find his own damn women!_

I went back into Ethan's room and gently sat down on the edge of the small bed. I took a deep breath as I thought about this whole situation. I was unsure what to do next. I mean, I know Jasper asked me to keep my distance from Bella, and I felt like I was doing a decent job, but watching her sleep, it took my feelings to a whole other level. And how she was just as enthusiastic about this adoption as I was, and tonight how she offered to watch Eth for me, it stirred something deep inside. Something that made me want to try and build our friendship into more. But I couldn't help but wonder, what did she want?

Since joining PIH, dealing with my mother's sickness, and now the looming task of raising Ethan on my own, it seemed like I grew up overnight. _Just add water and poof! Instant maturity. _Now, I think about my life and my circumstances differently and I knew that getting to know Bella was one of those things I wanted to do the right way.

But could I?

Could I control my boyish desire to have my way with her long enough to gain her trust, her friendship? I mean random hook ups, I could kick ass at those. But relationships? Being my lover _and_ my friend? That concept was foreign to me. My track record was pretty bleak when it came to women, but now, maybe there was only one that mattered. _So – yeah, I think I can do this, with her consent of course._

I wanted to be her confidant, her friend, her protector first and then - her lover, her mate, her paramour. Her by my side. This premature feeling I had about her - about us, it couldn't be wrong. I already _needed _her and Ethan needed her too.

I felt Eth shift in the bed and looked down at my watch. I sighed as I thought about having to wake her up. I was complacent with her here in my sight – under my roof – safe and sound.

I stood and went to stand beside her. I let my fingertips ghost over her brow, tracing the contours of her face, her cheek. I brushed a strand of her hair away from her face and let it slowly twist and fall out of my fingers. It was as soft as the finest silk.

She took a deep breath just as I pulled my hand away. I bit on my knuckle as I stood there staring at her. I could kick the shit out of myself for not acting on my feelings all those years ago in high school.

I bent over and gently shook her, "Bella, Bella, wake up."

She stretched as she crawled out of the bed. I found myself backing away from her, she was innocent as she slept, but now awake and alluring as ever, I felt threatened. She could own me with just one stealth move. Or one word. Or even one touch, I would be hers.

She asked what time it was. I answered and told her Emmett was on his way to take her home. She huffed, "Edward, you didn't have to call Emmett, I can get myself home."

I wanted to stomp my feet and tell her to just let me do this, let me take care of her! "There is no way in Hell you are riding public transportation at this hour Bella!" Instead I came off as a bully.

"Edward, you're being silly. What do you think I did before you came along?" She pouted and literally stuck out her bottom lip. I hastily shoved my hands in my pockets. The urge to take her in my arms and devour that pouty lip was pretty damn strong. She was clueless, the dominance she had over me.

"Bella, not my problem. Now, I got you covered, okay? No more S.P.T. at midnight ever again. Got it?" I prayed that was the end of the battle, I refused to give in and compromise her safety. I quickly exhaled and walked away. I just might fall to my knees and beg her to stay otherwise.

Emmett called and informed me he was at the curb waiting. Under my breath I growled for him to behave right before I hung up. "Bella, Emmett's at the curb, he's waiting on you."

"Alright then. Have a safe trip tomorrow and thanks for trusting me enough to watch Ethan. I loved it." She smiled and my heart raced. My frustration with Emmett melted away and her softening words calmed me.

"No, thank you. You're such a God-send, Bella. I owe you one." Then I tested myself, I curled one arm around her shoulders and gently squeezed. I held my breath and closed my eyes. Her softness and warmth against me was brief, but it was divine. Yeah, there was no doubt about it, I wanted more- No! I HAD to have more!

She was unable to hug me back with her arms full of her belongings, but that worked to my advantage. **That** may have been too much for me to bare.

"You don't owe me anything Edward, that's what friends are for."

_Friends._ For now.

She was leaving. I forced myself to stay inside the doorway. I couldn't follow her down, I couldn't walk her to the curb. I had to let her go. For now.

"Good night. I'll talk to you next week."

"Good night, Bella." I watched her enter the elevator and then I stepped back inside and closed the door. I practically ran into Ethan's room and grabbed his baby monitor and headed for the roof.

I spied on Emmett as he opened her door, then he shook his head as he circled around the front of the Hummer. I swore I saw Bella's petite frame from inside the front windshield leaning forward looking up at me. I brought the back of my hand up to rest against my lips. I wanted to call out to her. I longed to confess the desires of my heart. But it was too soon, the days of Romeo and Juliet were long ago and love at first sight a mere myth.

I knew better.

Emmett slammed his door and I quickly turned to go back downstairs. This was nothing short of mild torture. I needed to reign in my feelings, put a cap on it for a while and let the pot simmer.

All in good time. All. In. Good. Time.

~*X*~

**Love is not finding someone to live with. It's finding someone you can't live without.**

**~ Rafael Ortiz**

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No excuses for the wait. None besides me + writing = FAIL.

I love y'all. Thanks for reading. ~Stacy


	4. Chapter 4, She Did It

**"My grandfather used to say that almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. Then my Grammy would answer, "yes, Poppa, everybody knows, almost doesn't count." It's true. Think about it. When is almost good enough?" ~Bella, Almost Doesn't Count

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**This is a companion fic to Almost Doesn't Count, not sure if it will be able to stand alone or not. It's all Edward, all the time. YUMMY! This will be a series of outtakes of sorts, letting us in to the wonderful world of Edward. His past, his thoughts, his conversations we didn't get to listen in on w/BPOV, etc. All will be revealed. It may be sad at times because of Esme. Hold me. ~ Mrs. R.

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**Proceed with caution, this is unbeat'd**

~x0x0x0x0x~

I'd just hung up my cell with Bella. She was confirming what time we would meet tomorrow for our temporary custody hearing. Without even thinking twice, I offered to pick her up at her office. We'd have the whole day to ourselves, and that made me very excited. Not that I expected for anything to happen, but a day with just another adult was long overdue for me. I wouldn't know how to act!

Emmett picked up Ethan fairly early, they were going to eat breakfast before heading to watch Disney on Ice at the Seattle Center.

The few chances that I get to drive without Ethan, I took advantage of the situation and drove my Ashton Martin. I missed the freedom that I felt in my younger years cruising around in it. Now I mainly drove my 'Dad' SUV and kept this piece of me locked away in the private parking deck across the street. Carlisle was worried that it'd get stolen or damaged, and he was always encouraging me to drive it back to Forks and leave it parked in the garage at home.

In the short distance driving to her office, my stomach began to churn with nerves. What was the deal? _This wasn't even a date! _I'd just saw her the other day, nothing had changed between us, but for some reason to me this felt like this was the next step kind of... for us.

Then maybe it was because this - um, 'meeting,' had to do with the adoption. I hadn't even entertained the idea that this adoption wouldn't eventually happen, I had one hundred and ten percent faith in her abilities. Ethan becoming my son was nothing more than fate and maybe, just maybe, a certain brown-haired beauty fit into our destiny somehow.

I exhaled slowly before entering the large glass door to her office building, only to suck my breath back into my lungs as soon as we met face-to-face in the open doorway. I looked her over from head to toe, and a million and one compliments ran through my mind all at once. Unfortunately, all I could spout off was, "Well hello, Ms. Swan, don't you look smokin' hot today?"

_Smokin' hot? Who says that? _

My words didn't even faze her as I watched her eyes drift over my body. Talk about a turn-on, knowing that she too was checking me out. Then she rambled something off about my car and then 'sex-on-legs.' I nervously laughed, she wasn't helping my thoughts to stay within the limits of the PG rating I was aiming for.

"Sex on legs? That's a new one," I answered.

I followed her to the curb and watched the way her hips swayed within the confinements of her black pants and the taut curvature of her thighs – what was it she said about sex and legs again, because I could think of a few things myself...

She slid into the car and we began to discuss the Vanquish and she impressed me referencing James Bond.

As we fell into easy conversation, all of my earlier nervousness melted away leaving only pride and contentment and a little bit of lust thrown in there too.

This friendship thing was going to be be harder than I thought it'd be - no pun intended.

When we pulled up outside the courthouse, Bella practically molded herself back into the seat. "Do I have to get out? I just want to sit in here." She purred as she rubbed on the leather interior.

So-help-me-God, if this wasn't my adoption hearing we were going to, I would have offered to drive her anywhere; Canada, Colorado, California, Las Vegas, Chicago, New York...Maine. Anywhere and we could just sit in the car and talk for days if that's what she wanted. Instead I motioned for her to get out and lightly placed my fingers on the small of her back. Any physical contact with her was more than welcomed in my book and who was I kidding? I couldn't resit!

I took note that she obviously had a slight crush on my car, and the more points in my corner – the better. I leaned forward and let the tip of my nose graze her ear lobe as I whispered, "Silly girl, I still have to take you home, but just so you know, you can ride Mr. Vanquish anytime." I fought the urge to slap her ass and kept my fingers in their proper place.

For now.

**~x0x0x0x0x**~

Watching Bella march around that courtroom and demand attention worked me up more than anything else ever had. She was confident, graceful, sexy and... smart and... holyshit – I wanted to bend her over that desk so damn bad, that for the most part, I couldn't of told you a flippin' word she'd said. Not to mention that more than once I wiped drool of my chin and I constantly had to rearrange my package to lessen the ache from the friction of my wood grating against my zipper.

I sighed as I watched her mouth move as she spoke, her tongue darting out to wet her lips and every so often she would look over at me and smile.

_Friends huh?_

Maybe not for long.

_Please...God, do you hear me?_

**~x0x0x0x0x**~

As soon as we excited the over-sized wooden courtroom doors, Bella grabbed my hand and we practically ran down the steps toward the car.

_She did it!_

"Edward Cullen, you are my lucky charm. Can I fold you up and put you in my pocket so you can come to court with me every time?" Her smile was bigger than I'd ever saw it and she wore the look of success well.

The weight on my shoulders I'd been carrying concerning Ethan and this adoption was being lifted one rock at a time and it was all thanks to her – because at least for now, he was mine. "Bella, you don't need a lucky charm. You were perfect in there. You had an answer to every question and you really knew your shit. But more importantly... You did it!"

Without even thinking I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close. Her arms wound around me and her toes rose up off the sidewalk. I twirled her around and around in nothing but pure excitement and joy. _She did it! _

In return_ s_he squealed and embraced me a little tighter.

My movements slowed to a stop, but I didn't let her go, she pulled her head back just enough to look into my eyes as I found myself lost in her's.

"Yes! Little Ethan is all yours for the next 6 months and then we just have to make it permanent Edward. It will be forever!" She said in an almost whisper.

Then it was like everything around us faded away, as her eyes were darting back and forth peering into mine. I swear, she could see down into the depths of my soul and maybe I wouldn't have to tell her how I felt, maybe she could just spy inside of me and see it. She continued to look at me and I felt her fingers twitching as they rested on my neck. Her eyes darted down to my lips... my jaw... my mouth, and I knew we were toeing that fine line. If she attempted to kiss me or even gave me the inclination that she wanted to, I knew I was a goner. I couldn't resist her. Not with the way she smelled. Not with the way she looked. Not with the way she was studying me. Not the way I felt with her perfect body pressing into my own. I wasn't strong enough. She made me weak – literally.

Then with a wave a guilt, I sat her down. This wasn't fair to either of us, pushing this envelope was dangerous. I had to be patient.

I swallowed hard as I repeated to myself _'good things come to those who wait,__' _and I would wait. I would wait a long, long time if I had to.

"Thank you Bella." I finally whispered. She had no idea I was thanking her for more than just today. I was expressing my gratitude for stirring in me emotions I thought might never surface in me and even more so for giving me... hope.

Her hands dropped from my neck to my waist and she still hadn't stepped back. My body was on alert to her close proximity and I wanted her back in my arms.

"You are more than welcome Edward. You deserve that little one. Soon, I promise, soon." She said and I grinned at her because yes – soon everything was going to work out. Very, very soon.

**~x0x0x0x0x**~

_**"It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts."**__**  
**__**~ Addison Walker

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Hello?

*taps mic* Is anyone out there?

It's been so long since I updated.. and now that ADC is complete, I wondered if anyone would still read this? As long as I have just one reader, I'll continue to write it.

Next chapter is the fair!


	5. Chapter 5, The Fair

**"My grandfather used to say that almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. Then my Grammy would answer, "Yes, Poppa, everybody knows, almost doesn't count." It's true. Think about it. When is almost good enough?" ~Bella, Almost Doesn't Count

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_**Per the usual, I don't ask anyone to waste their time & beta this..So Beware you Grammar Nazis!**_

**~x0x0x0x0x~**

I continued to tease Bella about my car. I liked the way her eyes would crinkle and her cheeks would stain whenever I did. It was playful and... just fun. I didn't have to pretend anything with her, I could just be myself and that was so refreshing. I think I'd always tried to conform before; with my colleges, with my friends, maybe even some with my parents. But with Bella, from the very day she set foot in my apartment, I was always just Edward, and I don't think she minded a bit.

Emmett was keeping Ethan until later tonight and I wasn't ready to go home yet. Truth be told, I just wanted to keep her in my presence for as long as I possibly could.

"You want to go for a drive or do you have to get back to the office? Emmett won't be home with Ethan 'til later this evening and it's such a beautiful day."

Before I turned my eyes back to the road, I saw the way she nibbled on her lip as she contemplated her decision. Then she kicked off her shoes and wiggled her painted toes against the floor mat, "I'm game. Where we going?"

_Shoot_,_ I didn't have a plan_. "Shoreline maybe? I dunno, let's just get out of the city for a bit."

I rolled down the windows and Bella's hair began to twirl around in the wind. The scent of her shampoo filled the small space between us before drifting away to mingle with the outside air. I deeply inhaled and fought the urge to close my eyes as her essence danced around and seduced me.

"You're driving," she implied before resting her head on her arm and staring out the window. I cranked up some tunes and just drove toward the both sang along under our breath with the random songs that played. I was still racking my brain trying to figure out what we could do to pass the day. I thought I saw a small sign by the side of the road advertising a carnival ahead, but I was going too fast to read the details.

A few more miles up the road was a large billboard and without even thinking I slammed on my brakes. She cursed at me and I tried not to laugh at her frustration.

I explained to her that there was a carnival down the road and I wanted to go. Then she looked at me as if I were speaking a foreign language.

I couldn't believe that I was having to explain the difference of a fair, a carnival, and a circus to a grown-ass woman. She really hadn't experienced a few of those simple pleasures in life, but I was just the man to rectify that.

She complained about having to wear heels and I understood – I really did, but we were going to that carnival regardless. I let it spill that I thought it was cute she was always barefoot, and then I promised her we'd work something out about her shoe problem for the day. "I'll figure something out, even if I have to carry you around like a monkey on my back, we're going to that carnival!"

I couldn't hide my excitement about going to the carnival. Growing up, we went every year. Emmett and I could spend the whole day at the midway, getting off one ride and running to the next. I told Bella about some of the crazy times we had. I realized I hadn't been since before I went away to college, it was another one of those staples of my youth I had forgotten about.

**~x0x0x0x0x~**

After stopping off at Walgreen's and picking up the only type of shoes they had in Bella's size, and of course buying a little extra to make it feel more 'special,' we were on our way.

I told her about listening to her sing the Duckie song to Ethan, hence why I bought her the duckie buttons and socks. I remembered that very second when I saw her interacting with Ethan. She didn't know I was there, so I kept quiet and leaned against the bedroom door. I watched how she sang to him, tickled his sides, and made him laugh, and it caused my heart swell inside my chest. She made me not want to set forth on this journey of parenthood alone.

It was too soon to say it aloud, possibly even to early to think about it, but maybe she was the one to share it with. Just maybe...

**~x0x0x0x0x~**

The carnival was just down the road and she played around with her shoes as I parked.

We laughed about her mismatched outfit as we entered the midway. I paid for everything and didn't even give her time to disagree to riding all the carnival had to offer.

The lines were short since most of the small town was either working or in school, it was perfect. I led her from ride to ride. She would clutch my hand as we stood waiting our turn and I could practically feel her trepidation through our linked palms.

She never protested though, she was such a trooper. She would squeal and giggle as we flipped and tumbled. She would hold her breath and squeeze her eyes shut, and all I could do was laugh. It was priceless. I felt as though I was a kid again, I wanted to freeze in time this feeling in my chest, and visit it every night as I fall to sleep. Maybe then I'd be able to dream as if I had no troubles in the world and everyday would be nothing but merry-go-rounds and tilt-a-whirls.

When we stood in line for the giant Ferris wheel, I saw Bella biting on her lip. She smiled when I looked back at her, but this one for some reason seemed to scare her somewhat. My mother used to hate the Ferris wheel too. She said it was a death trap set on an axis and all it was good for was making your stomach lodge in the back of your throat.

We stepped forward onto the metal platform and climbed into our bucket. The carny locked our lap bar and moved away as the other guy pushed the button and we moved backward.

I stretched my arm behind Bella and I felt her stiffen as we began to move. As the ride filled up, bucket by bucket, we slowly made a circle lifting to the top. Bella wasn't smiling and I didn't know what to do to ease her fears. I barely leaned over the side of the bucket to see how far up we were. I looked at the crowd below and thought I saw someone I knew waving from the ground. But as soon as I leaned over the bucket rocked forward and Bella screamed. She quietly pleaded with me to be still and not move. I tried my best as I looked over again to not move the bucket, but it rocked forward again anyway.

Bella screamed louder and turned to bury her face against my chest. I chuckled at how silly she was, but my laugh soon faded as I began to feel Bella... everywhere. She had one of her legs pinned under mine, her hands were balled onto my shirt, clutching it tightly. Her nose was flattened against me and the heat of her breath seeped through the thin fabric to my bare skin. Her hair tickled my face as the wind gently swirled around us as we were in motion. Her soft body pressed against me, more so than it ever had before.

I liked it.

I wrapped my arms around her back and pulled her closer. "I'm sorry. You're okay. I won't do it again," I whispered. Then I lightly kissed her crown, so softly I was sure she didn't even feel it.

I didn't want to let her go...not for a long time.

So I held her. I held her as tight as I could without hurting her. I wanted her to feel safe, but more so – I wanted her to feel safe because of me. I wished to do that – be her protector, calm her fears. And I couldn't help but wonder, if she would let me and maybe she wanted that too.

If not today, then someday?

So we sat like that, in each others arms, for the few minutes we were allotted and I focused on the push of her head on my chest and her hands binding us together. The familiarity of her essence invaded my senses and caused me smile. I wanted more...more of this.

As our turn to exit drew closer, I regretfully released my hold on her, "It's over silly girl. Time to get out."

Her face flushed red as she pulled away and straightened my shirt and tie with her fingertips. She looked up at me and our eyes locked. "I'm sorry," she whispered as I helped her out of the bucket.

I shook my head, I didn't have the words to answer her. I was too overwhelmed with emotions. She may not realize it yet, but Bella Swan was capturing my heart. Touch by touch, glance by glance, second by second spent together – I was irrevocably, unconditionally, head-over-heels falling for her.

We walked the midway and agreed to play a few games since we'd already rode all the rides. Of course those stupid crooks rig the games so you couldn't win and dollar after dollar was blown trying to win a stuffed animal that wasn't even worth a dime.

Bella tried her hardest trying to knock down the milk bottles, but she left one standing. Without even knowing it I mumbled a single word that rubbed Bella the wrong way, "Almost."

"Everybody knows...almost doesn't count." Bella answered in a huff and quickened her pace toward the exit. I knew she was pissed because she felted cheated, but still – her anger was... cute.

She proceeded to tell me about her grandmother and grandfather and when she asked me when is almost ever good enough, I told her I had never thought about it. I hadn't, but obviously... she had.

When she said, "I learned the hard way. You can't almost be in love or almost have a baby," my heart clenched a little and I wanted to hug her and make it better somehow. In her own way, she was letting me in – peeling back her walls in small, paper-like layers.

I thought it was a bad idea to interrogate her any further about her confession, not yet anyway. She continued on with her rant, and I agreed with her. I didn't want to almost do... anything, especially if it involved Ethan or Bella, I wanted it all.

She corrected me and told me that almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades and I repeated aloud her hypothesis. She smiled at me and the desire to take her back into my arms intensified.

I saw the picture booth up ahead and grabbed her hand to lead the way. We needed a photo of this wonderful day spent between two friends. I selected double prints and we crawled into the booth.

It was wonderful, it was tempting, and it was torture.

I wanted to hide us away in there for a few more hours. Just Bella and I, our smiles, and our memories. I wanted to alter the past so that us sitting here right now, we'd be more than just acquaintances or just friends.

I wanted to pull her close to me and tug on her lips with my teeth. I longed to feel the soft skin on her neck under my tongue, and once again, her hands claiming me as they did before on the Ferris wheel.

But I didn't.

I let her lead our poses as we counted down with the timer and the click of the flash froze our expressions for all eternity.

As we walked out of the fair and I looked at the pictures, I thought about all the things I had experienced today with Bella and the emotions tied to them. The temporary order, the Ferris wheel, the touching, the desire for more, and what it all meant. It was intense. It was scary, but the only concrete conclusion I could come to was I wanted to get to know her better. I wanted to try for more with her. I knew it would take time, Ethan and my mother had to come first.

But eventually, I wanted to see what could develop with Bella. I wasn't ready to give up on the idea of us just yet.

So as I drove toward Seattle, my thoughts looped in my head and brought me to one more idea, I wanted her to meet my mother – well, meet my mother officially. Time wasn't on our side, so I didn't want to wait no longer than we had to.

If these immature feelings in my soul where any indication of what could blossom in the future, I wanted to share it with my mother before it was too late.

**~x0x0x0x0x~

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_**"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." **_

_**~Friedrich Nietzsche**_


	6. Chapter 6 Meeting the Parents

**"My grandfather used to say that almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. Then my Grammy would answer, "Yes, Poppa, everybody knows, almost doesn't count." It's true. Think about it. When is almost good enough?" **

**~Bella, Almost Doesn't Count**

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_**Per the usual, I don't ask anyone to waste their time & beta this..So Beware you Grammar Nazis!**_

(this picks up right in the middle of chapter 6 of ADC, the end of the day that Bella met Esme)

I picked up Ethan off the couch, careful not to wake him up and carried to his bedroom, then I went back downstairs and woke Mom to help her go to her bed.

Charlie had just drove by and picked up Bella.

The past two days we'd spent more time together than we ever had and I liked it. A lot. It was weird for me to had that heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach that I didn't want her to leave me - leave us. Even if it was just until tomorrow, but I knew that's what it was.

I didn't want her to go.

I trudged upstairs to my own room and fell on the bed face first, not even bothering with changing my clothes.

I wondered if Bella could ever see right through my actions? How sometimes I couldn't stop myself from reaching out and touching her. How my heart skipped a beat when I saw her interacting with Ethan. How I didn't always hold back when I hugged her because the desire to just hold her was often stronger than the need to stop.

I knew today would be a whirlwind of emotions. I knew that Bella meeting my mother would be the final test for me what type of woman she truly was.

What I wasn't prepared for, was that she was everything I though she'd be and more. She wasn't uncomfortable around the frailty of my mother. She looked at her with warmth, love, compassion, and awe. The exact same way I looked at my mother.

Bella fell into easy conversation with her as if they'd been friends their whole lives.

Then when I stood in that doorway and witnessed Bella's head resting in my mother's lap, my Mom fingering Bella's hair, my breath caught in my throat.

It was one heavenly sight to see and I almost didn't want to interrupt.

It seemed so right, Bella belonged with this family, with Ethan and I. It was also frightening. How could someone I was just getting to know already be such a part of me that I'd be incomplete without her?

Things shouldn't happen this fast. Feelings should take more time to develop, more time to be for sure - for certain.

It was too soon.

As we walked outside, I loved watching her admire the scenery around us. Our backyard was something I'd seen practically daily, but I realized over time, I lost the admiration of the simple beauty of nature.

I smiled when I thought about how Bella was definitely easy to please. Someone could offer her the world on a silver platter and there was no doubt in my mind that she wouldn't take it. Hell, she'd probably give it away.

I thought about our conversation in my car yesterday. Bella had opened up and told me about her failed marriage and how Mike cheated on her as often as the sun rose and as angry as I was I still felt guilty.

I knew it wasn't my fault that he was a dick head and had cheated on her. But to know that I'd seen him years ago with a different girl every night knowing he was still dating Bella, was like a blow to my gut. What if I'd spoke up and told her? What if back in the day I'd beat the living daylights out of him? Would it of changed things?

What about if I find him tomorrow and cut of his balls, would she care?

Bella deserved so much better than him and I wanted to be the kind of man that was worthy of someone like Bella. More importantly, I wanted to be worthy of_ her._ For the most part, I think I was, I just had to prove it to her. We all weren't scum-bag-piece-of-shits like Mike Newton.

I was nervous when she began to ask me about my past love life. I wasn't sleeping around as much as I could have been, but I was no saint either. It was true that I hadn't brought anyone home to meet my parents since I'd graduated. That thought had never even crossed my mind until Bella.

Maybe it would be those little things that she'd pick up on. The sincerity of the way I felt and the person that I was, would show through in my actions a little at a time.

I wanted to spill it all right there on that swing about the past, about me in high school and watching her at Fork's Little Theater. How I knew that Mike was a cheating douche and that I didn't ever want to be sat on that pedestal my friends had placed me on. How none, and I mean not one single girl that I dated in high school or since had held a candle to the way she already made me feel.

But I remembered, it was too soon.

_In time._

~*V*~

I was a little bit gun shy about meeting Bella's parents. I learned long ago that parents have n uncanny way of seeing right through you and picking up on things that weren't been to be known.

So should I try and act nonchalant about this whole meeting her parents thing? It was possible that they would see right through my more-than-friendly attitude.

Would they approve?

Maybe they just see my fawnings as a man who loves his soon-to-be-kid and not necessarily as also admiration for their only daughter.

It was wrong to be nervous about meeting her parents because I soon as Ethan and I meet them, there were nothing but welcoming to us.

Charlie was a simple man, very easy to talk to and hard to get a word in edge-wise. Renee cooed and cackled over Ethan, just like Esme did.

Bella looked as though she wanted to lock herself away in a closet and I couldn't help but think that was adorable. Then I felt less than manly because I was using words like adorable and cute way too often in my thoughts.

Bella mouthed 'I'm sorry' more than once while I shot the shit with her father. I shrugged her off because, in some strange way, I liked this. It was like family time. It was easy to pretend that we were married and I was visiting with my in laws.

And as I watched Ethan move away from Renee's lap on the couch and into Bella's, my knees felt weak.

He preferred her too! He found comfort in her lap just like I often found my future lingering in her dark eyes._ How many more signs did I need to affirm her place in our lives?_

His tiny fingers wove in and out of her hair, his posture slumped against hers, his head rested on her chest, and she cradled him as if she'd been doing it all her life.

I found myself radiating toward them sitting there. I was proud and blissful. I wanted to take a picture of them, frame it and hang it on my mantle.

_Things to be treasured. _

Bella looked up from Ethan, her eyes danced between all of us as she realized that we'd been watching her hold Ethan.

"Look Bella, he loves you like you're his mommy," Renee beamed and the look that crossed Bella's faced was one of mortification and embarrassment.

But I didn't want it to be.

I nodded my head and agreed with Renee, he did. Bella was the closest thing he had to a mother, he loved her already too.

If there was nothing else, nothing more that blossomed between Bella and I than friendship, that right there would be enough.

Ethan needed her as much, if not more, than I did.

"I can't wait for you to have your own children someday Bells. You will be a wonderful mother." Renee sighed.

"Please, you know how it is. Just don't." Bella said as she cowered behind Ethan. I saw the pink stain her cheeks and the tears as they pooled in her eyes. Once again, I felt compelled to whisk her away and protect her.

Instead I kneeled down beside her, steadied myself with my hand on her knee and squeezing it slightly so she'd look at me. "She's right you know. Someday you will be a wonderful mother."

Little did she know, Ethan and myself already thought she was.

**~*V*~**

Every day. Every day we spent together, I fell a little more and my feelings were only amplified and confirmed on the days spent we'd apart.

Bella.

Her just hanging out with Ethan and I was beyond words. It was never uncomfortable or unpleasant. It was actually kind of perfect and that feeling in my stomach, it was growing. I really didn't want to ever leave; my apartment, my side, or my life for that matter.

It was staggering.

I may had owed my life now to Jasper and Alice, because they'd invited Bella to Emmett's birthday party tomorrow night. I was going to pick her up and she was going to be my date. She might not have considered it as such, but there was no doubt in my mind that I did.

I had to convince her to let loose, not worry about Jasper holding it against her to have fun. Maybe buy her a round or two of drinks. I even wanted her to not be my lawyer for one night. Truth be told, I wanted more a lot more than that too, I wanted to see her laying in my bed again. The way the she did the other day when she napped with Ethan and I, but doing 'other' things besides sleeping.

I just wanted her.

I glanced over at the clock and rolled over trying to fall asleep.

Tomorrow was going to be a freaking fantastic day. I was finally taking Bella out on a date that was years in the making. I wanted it to be special, epic even, one she'd never forget.

_**"Never give up on someone who you can't go a day without thinking about." ~ Unknown

* * *

**_

Sorry that this one was short & sweet. Next one will be THE DATE. Yep, the one most of you have asked for. The dancing, the singing, the walk to the car, the kiss at the door, * wiggles eyebrows* - it'll be a doozy!

Forgive me for the delay in updating, I'm trying to do better.

Also if you like **ALMOST DOESN'T COUNT**, I'll be contributing a outtake from it for_** FANDOM FOR PREEMIES**_**,** please donate.

The link is fandomforpreemies . blogspot . com. (remove spaces)

(I'm still happily shocked that people continue to read this!)

Til next time,

Review!

~Stacy

Twitter: Mrs_Robward


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